#7 This subject is better than yours
And damn right... these are stupid things to compare.
Hi,
This is Room To Fail, a newsletter about learning how to become a strategist right beside me, a junior-strat that is constantly (and fearfully) looking for things to do wrong & fail at, just to only get them right the next time. Or the next.
I’m Irina. Welcome and buckle up, it’s going to be a bumpy ride. Hopefully.
If this gets into your Promotions tab, just add the newsletter’s address to your contacts. It should work. If it doesn’t, let me know and I’ll investigate further.
Today’s read takes 8 minutes.
🧠⚡︎BRAIN FAILURE
“Look at Ana’s grades. Why can’t you be more like Ana?”
“You know, my friend’s son went to Med School. Now he’s a doctor in France.”
“Look at these presentations. Can you do something like this?”
“Why can’t we have Cannes ideas in our agency? Must be the work we’re not doing enough of.”
Since I was a kid, I had to get better grades, be better at every subject. Then, I had to be the better driver, the better copywriter, the better public speaker, the better friend, the most organised. I had to be thinner, more feminine, stronger. And all of these are good goals. Before you say “than”.
“Better than” used to be such a powerful trigger that my mind went completely into competition mode. And there went empathy, patience, understanding - all out the window. All I wanted was to prove I can be better, to be always right. My Feeling Brain accelerated beyond the car’s power.
I said “used to be” because I stopped being so competitive and comparing myself to others some time ago. Actually I started being aware of the harm it caused when I got into running. Running is a sport incompatible with comparison. You can’t compare yourself to someone because there is rarely a person that has the same background, the same leg length, the same running pace. So the only way to get better at running is to compare yourself to your last run. That’s why marathons gather so many people and all get badges. Because they really won something: the fight with their own limits.
But I still fail at this. I caught myself comparing to someone else again this week. And it made me feel powerless, disappointed in myself and sad. And to remind myself again, I have 3 points:
Comparing ourselves to others allows them to drive our behaviour. Sometimes this can be a motivator - like getting better at writing because Sam is. But most of the time turns your life to chaos as you try to adapt to what you see from those people, and lose yourself in the process. Are they trying some new diet? Let’s try it too. Are they reading more? I should too. And when you stop for a second to wonder what you want, the brain feels blank. Which takes me to the next point.
What’s important comes from inside, not outside. I know this looks like a boring Insta post, but it’s true. True motivation, true goals, true desires come from who you are. Figure that out, decide who you want to become and I promise you’ll feel better and more grateful for what you already have. I’m not there yet, but I’m doing my best to be aware of this.
And the most stupid thing we do: We tend to compare our weaknesses with other’s strengths. Our everyday life with the Instagram pieces of others. People are mostly afraid of showing vulnerability, their struggles, their issues and that’s how only the good-life pics appear online. All this leads to a skewed vision on how life should be and who we should become.
So peeps, there’s only one thing we are better than others: being ourselves.
Let’s focus our energy on what we are capable of now and strategise the shit out of how to improve ourselves. Set tiny goals, give your mind time to wander, enjoy your company & go for a bad run. And then let’s put our asses to work ‘cause we love what we’re doing.
🤯 “HOW DID THEY THINK ABOUT THAT?!” SECTION
Long brain failures, short links:
Something to laetificate you. (It’s 1600s slang.)
Brand consistency without infinite repetition.
And Work Life with Adam Grant - super-podcast, I promise.
🍴INTERESTING TOOLS TO GET WRONG
What starts with tons of data and ends in a story?
Yeah, lots of things but I’m talking about defining your target audience.
There is tons of information on this and can get a little bit overwhelming, but I tried to get the basics here. Yeah, scroll down because it’s the same document from the last newsletter so you can have it all together.
I love observing people and reading psychology and behavioural science and I really enjoyed learning this part.
What frameworks do you use or how do you decide on your target audience? What’s the best persona essay you’ve read? I would love to hear from you.
📚 THE STRATEGY BOOK CLUB
(How not to Plan: 66 ways to screw it up, Les Binet and Sarah Carter -
COMPLETED: Y/N, 53 pages)
“Always read something that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it” (PJ O’Rourke) and hello from the first pages of How not to plan.
This book is so beautifully organised that my heart melted. Colour coding, room for notes, checklists after every lesson. It just became my dream teacher.
So, the first two chapters cover setting objectives and the parts of 4P marketing we usually forget about - product, price and place. We talked about setting objectives here. The book only confirmed we are on the right track.
I also found out about the idea of “Mephisto Waltz”. It refers to competition and is about:
“Two big brands become so obsessed with competing against each other that they become mirror images: each copying the other’s strategy, each benchmarking itself against the other - making it easier for challenger brands to sneak in and grab share. If the market leaders don't notice in time then the Mephisto Waltz becomes a death spiral.”
See how bad comparing yourself to others can be sometimes, even for brands?
I think I’ll just leave you with this poetry-strategy vibe and one of my favourite spoken poetry - this TED. I’ve listened to it at least 10 times.
Enjoy these beautiful days. Find a place of gratitude and lay there for a while, or until you cannot live anywhere else.
There’s nobody here better at being you than yourself. Though to really get it, but someday it will click. And it’s ok to keep failing - only to become better,
i.